My worst mistake

I was never lucky when it comes to love. Women, for some reason, were never very fond of me maybe because I am, c'mon, a bit of a geek. In the middle of all that there was an experience the left a deep mark on me. It was during my first year of high school when I deeply fell in love with a girl. When I realized that, I came up with a little scheme for her to know it. But she was already taken and, of course, I got rejected. But still, a certain friendship began to develop between the two of us and I tried to enjoy it. But I wasn't satisfied. I wanted more. I wanted something deeper, something more serious. So I started to taunt her,  making moves on her, making stupid comments. As I should have expected, the friendship turned into hate. She even attacked me a few times.
In the next school year, we got separated from each other and we lost touch. It was already too late when I realized my mistake and I've never corrected it. I stopped to believe in love, I get disgusted when I hear about dates, romance, kisses and everything that's related. I became someone who is introverted, cold, not sociable. I focused on my grades with nice results. However, sometimes, I find myself thinking about her. I think about her long brown hair, her beautiful smile, the shine in her eyes. And I think about how badly I treated her. She deserved better. I don't love her anymore but I still care about her. She is an important part of my life and I don't want her to hate me for the rest of hers. I just want to find her one more time. So I could apologize for all the crap I've done, for everything I put her through despite knowing I don't deserve forgiveness. It's been years and we both changed. I wish we could meet as we are today and forget about the past. I want to save one last image of her in my memory andto remember her not as a mistake to correct bus as someone special whose path crossed mine but it wasn't meant to join it. Please forgive me!