Still HereSuicide is aThought that frequently lurksIn my mind, wichLets it overcome theLaughter and happinessHere I still fight, howeverEnduring this sad lifeReviving my hopesEmbracing the gift of life
Wall of glassThrough my lifeI've built a wallA wall that surrounds meAnd keeps me awayFrom the worldIt looks solidBut it's fragileIt's made of glassAnd I wonderHow long it'll lastAnd who will be the oneTo shatter itAnd reach the real meThat lurks inside
BloodlustIn our private heavenWe satisfy our bloodlustBy breaking each other's skinWith a shinny bladeAnd tasting the crimson flowThe flow of lifeA life of lust and loveThe love we feelFor each otherA bloody and guilty loveOf voluntary woundsAnd beautiful scarsOur reason to liveOur dirty secretA secret we both carryWith great pleasureThe only wayWe can feel happiness
Night thoughtsLying on the floorWrapped in darknessDreaming about lifeAbout the pastAbout the futureThinking about happinessAbout sadnessAbout loveAnd about hateAll at onceClashing togetherIn the black pitThat is my mind
ForeverFor eternityOur destiny is determinedReliving the pastEnduring the sufferingVisions of the futureEndeavours to comeRepresenting life as a whole
ConfusedRight is wrongAnd wrong is rightPain is pleasureAnd pleasure is painIt's an upside down worldIn my messed up mind
Stranger's funeralUnder the cloudsUnder the rainStaring at the coffinAt a stranger's funeralWe're all aloneFeeling the stormBut not the painFor he's but a strangerAnd the graves around usAre just thereKeeping us companyDuring this empty moment
Let me dieGo awayLeave me aloneAnd let me dieI'm tiredOf this worldI don't want to liveNot anymoreBecause there's no lightAt the end of this tunnelSo I'll just end my lifeDon't try to stop meAnd we'll meet againOn the other sideOutside this dark tunnel
Million facesA million facesAll the sameWandering all their livesWithout a real purposeA million storiesAll differentBut all with the same endingA fate we can't avoidBut between them allCould there be oneThat stands out?Maybe yours?Maybe mine?Maybe both?
MedsThey're supposedTo make me betterTo solve my problemsBut they're nothing but drugsDrugs to control meTo keep me docileThey only make meNumb and tiredThey make my lifeDull and boringA chemically induced illusionThat doesn't solve a thing
WithinAnother selfAnother monsterAnother voiceIn my headA gift from HeavenA curse from HellDestroying my beingFrom the insideAnd leaving nothing behind
I liveI liveAt least for nowLife is cruelAnd harshBut I keep survivingAnd hopingHoping for a better world
EclipseNothing to hearNo one awakeExcept you.I’m sure you areSo freaking tiredLike a zombieIn an empty planet.Wash the bloodErase the signsWith no fingerprintsLeft behind.Death in the veinsThey didn’t listenYour warningsAnd now their bodiesAre slashed.You look happyWith no regretsMoving corpses.Hide your artFrom the public eyeThey won’t understand.Soon the airWill spread fearEscapeRun away.(3-4/8/14)
How to be a parent1. Hit your childwhen they do something wrongor somethingthat you don't like.Fists, open palms,belts or wooden spoonswork best.Do not explain why,and make sureto leave a mark.2. Shout at your childshould they ever frustrate youor make you angry.Whether it's their faultor yours;they should be the ones to pay for it.Especially if they cannot dowhat you want them to,no matter how hardthey might have tried.3. Mock your childwhen they are upset.Do not comfort themlike they deserve;tell them how stupid they lookwith that runny noseand tears streaming down their face.Ask them if they've finished yet,and if they continue to cry,simply turn your back.4. Shun your childwhen they want your attention.Tell them that the thing they madeis just a thing, not a plane,and that it is not good enough,and never will be.Make sure they understandhow much better you wereat everythingat their age.Make them feel worthless,like a failure,like they don't deserve your love
KidsWe're just kids, that grew up too fast.Due to expectations and isolations.Adaptations, illustrations, separations.It's not how it used to be.I wonder will it last?One words replies,No surprise,Now it's lies, cries, guys and skinny thighs.Oh I despise, but I'll advise,Do not trust a soul.Blasting music in our ears,Hiding from the sneers and leers,They're picking on the queers.Aren't they our peers?Alone, and other feelings I've never known.Upgrade your phone.Dye your hair a darker tone.Wear cologne and dig the drone.Welcome to the cool zone.Background chatter,Break and clatter.Always saying,"I'm fine." or "it doesn't matter."Am I flatter or fatter?Definitely the latter.Watch my heart shatter,And the pieces scatter.Cause we're just kids, who grew up too fast.Due to expirations and deprivations.Situations, innovations, realizations.It's not like it used to be.Now we're an outcast.
A Bipolar Mind and HeartI have a tired weak mind thats lostWould do anything to know the truth at any costI have a troubled mind that is in the darkWould do anything to find a sparkI have a terrified heart that criesOf tears invisible to any eyesI have a heart that caries a love that would never dieA love so strong that lifts me up to flyA love so beautiful that brings tears from my eyesI have a heart that aches yet melts at the sound of your nameA heart that no matter what amount of pain it holds it's love will stay the sameMy heart isn't lost It knows the truthWhile my mind struggles to escape the painful claws of the liesI might have lost my insanityI might have forgotten my identityBut I swear to youMy love for you still and will always remain
OrchestraFour a.m is uneasy -time purloined and lefthanging on the bed posts.You said I crowd your sleep,feet and hands slipping cotton,pulling dreams in paper streamslike the nest of waspsgrowing restless in the tree.Your legs make room for me,for the sound of weatherhappening on the roof,and warm the space above us,setting fire to the drapes again.Just let me feel your claviclepress under my hipswhere daylight squeezes inand hinges us.So we both can waken slowly,you know, like kids in summerwho long for everything to never endand the sky to be an orchestra
dearly belovedthese daysyour name has been slippingin and out of my rib cageand sometimes,my heart forgets to beat.it's funny,i suppose—how even after all these months i stilldon't want to believe thatyou're dead. how during thefirst couple of weeks i prayedto a god i didn't believe in and begged to knowif death tasted sweet to you. how once,when the monsters in my headdidn't let me sleep, iwrote you three poems and thendestroyed four.you were a supernova thatlit up my life fora few radiant moments before,like all good things in thisfilthy world,you came to an end.the sinner in me hopes that you have wings now.but i think that,most of all,i hope you no longerremember what painfeels like.
I won't surrenderI shake off the arms of the demons that are pulling me downNo I won't surrender and drownI struggle to stand while their nails are digging deep in to my skinScreaming loud just to block their poisonous whispers that hunt my mindLooking around for the sunshineAnything that can pull me out and help me escape those monsters that want to feed off my painAs I wait my energy and strength begins to fadeI scream even louder but this time not to block the whispers but to cry for helpNo I won't surrender and drownSomeone will come to hold me while I regain my strength back to fight and slay the evil demonsMinutes turn to months , time has weakened the hope I hold insideThere was no sunshine that killed away the darknessThere was no hands to pull me away from the dark holeThere was nothing but my echo screaming back at meI don't want to surrender and drownBut no strength is left in meAnd no one that cares enough to save me
Forgive Me FatherForgive me fatherFor I have sinnedLet them downLet them win....Forgive me fatherFor I have sinnedLoved no oneCared for no otherForgive me fatherFor I have sinnedThought bad of your peopleInjustice will towards themPraise me fatherI finally did rightI died in my sleep tonightApologized for everything beforeBut Oh father,Will you let me through your doors?
Empty shellEvery momentOf despairEvery feelingIn my heartAnother nailIn the coffinWhere my soulIs being buriedLeaving behindNothing butAn empty shell